Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Sew, Interrupted

Captain's Log:

It's been twelve days now, stranded on this desert island- and there is no sewing in sight. The camera batteries died over a week ago. Lighting McQueen Bubble Machine and Kid #1's tv remote tried to donate, but they just weren't compatible. I fear it wouldn't matter anyway. There is nothing to photograph.

On day seven I spied a hope off the shore- it was the JoAnn's weekend sale. But alas, despite my shouting and frantic arm waving, I just couldn't flag it down. It sailed on by.

I have been scouting the island for anything that could be used in constructing the Amy Butler bags, but nothing here has a strong enough fiber content.

Kid #2's fever has finally broken after three days of madness and things too horrible to describe. I was forced to let another ship sail on by- the Jomar pleasure cruise. Through my makeshift lens I spied crazy knits, 2$/yard prices, and a deck party that included Karen and Kisha. Floating over the water came decadently bitchy laughter. I knew it from somewhere- Project Runway season one, perhaps? But the big ol' ship turned abruptly into the sun and disappeared.

I am separated from base camp, where the leather skirt is hanging, awaiting a major dart reconstruction. Even if I could cross the wasteland back into that region, I doubt I would have the strength to perform such a delicate operation in such an unpredictable environment.

I don't know how long I can hold out here. If I could just get those sleeves basted into the jacket, I'd have a chance at escaping... but everytime I make a move I am thwarted by the natives. I have yet to decipher their language- it's almost as if I am a god and a slave to them (especially that big one). I've discovered that they are distracted by high levels of ice cream and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson movies. I'm hoping that tonight, after cover of nightfall, I can make my move.

e out.

Captain's Log, supplemental:

Note of Meritorious Service, K-9 unit:
I was stranded alone with Kid #2 during the height of his sickness. After witnessing the carnage, the dog turned to me. "Get help" I said.
That dog dodged house bombs and climbed a flight of stairs, and proceeded to knock Kid #1's door open with his head. He alerted them immediately and backup arrived just in time.

see how his eyes reflected the light? I think he was rotating one eye away from the flash at the shutter moment.



Uta said...

I feel for you - my DD just ran a fever over 5 days; now after being sort of well for two days, she cried herself to sleep (with her god/slave's support, of course) with an earache. But I know our ship will come! (In 15 years at the latest, I keep telling DH.)

Little Hunting Creek said...

I'd throw you a life line, but the natives would just throw it back. I hope they feel better soon!
(maybe you can escape tonight)

Carolyn (cmarie12) said...

Okay that Star Trek log is making my day...and a rough one it is so I need as much entertainment as possible.

AllisonC said...

Brilliant post. Hope you get rescued soon!

Paulette said...

Totally LOVE the post!! :)

The Slapdash Sewist said...

OK LOL. That was hilarious. Hope the kids feel better soon.

Elaray said...

You have been nominated for the Sisterhood Award!

Karen said...

Hey, you've got two Sisterhood awards now - maybe you can lash them together and use them as a raft to float away!

disa said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.

prashant said...

I hope they feel better soon!

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